For a hefty fee I'm on your record like Bob Costas

Oh Olympics, what will I ever do without you? Soon I will be back to watching "What Not To Wear" on my Tivo late at night instead of something awesome like the men's open water swim. (How do they eat and swim at the same time?) Besides, I was just starting to figure out the rules for field hockey.

So in tribute to my two weeks of sitting on the couch and not working out as I watched other people work out really hard, I give you my take on the Olympics:

• I don't get the point of the showers the divers use when they're done. They're just going to jump right back into the water, right? The hot tubs I can get behind, though. If I were a diver, I would spend all my time there, preferably with a piña colada. That might make it easier to jump off the platform anyway.

• Speaking of diving, thank god there's still one sport left where the men still wear those little speedos. Too bad all the divers were gay or 15 years old.
  

• My award for best uniforms goes to men's field hockey. They're a little retro but I love the sleeveless shirts. Tight shirts and pulled up socks? Classy!

• My award for the worst uniforms goes to the Australian women's basketball team. Running around for an hour wearing a skin tight leotard type basketball uniform does not sound like fun. It actually sounds like a good way to get a rash.

• Did you know there was a boxer from Ghana named Prince Octopus Dzanie? The first time I saw him on my TV, I thought I was losing my mind. Who would name their kid that? Still, I have to give the best athlete name award to Dutch swimmer Pieter van den Hoogenband. It's just so much fun to say!

• I loved watching water polo, handball and (regular) volleyball. It's too bad we won't be seeing those on the TV for another four years.

• BMX was awesome, too. I'm just bummed that NBC devoted about 15 minutes to covering it. I think it will garner more attention in the next Olympics.

• Let's take a moment to think about the next Olympics. I can't wait for 2012. Sad & British covers the London Olympics? The possibilities are endless. The chairman of the London Organising Committee for the Olympics is Sebastian Coe, who also won the gold in the 1500 meters race in the 1980 and 1984 Olympics. Why do I mention this? Because I once bought a globe for his daughter. It's a long story that I'm sure I'll share with you in 2012, but I swear I did.

• Any sport that requires judges to constantly watch you to make sure you're doing it right is NOT a sport. Yes, I'm looking at you, race walking.
  

• Did you see this Cuban taekwondo guy kick the ref? It was terrible sportsmanship, but I can't stop watching it.
  

• I don't care what people say, I love Bob Costas. Always have, always will.