And if a cat can't be a Wiccan, who can?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm heading over to Jeff's in a couple hours to enjoy some turkey and all the other awesome food. I will provide the cranberry salad and apple pie. I did not bake the pie. I'm not good at baking, and I'm lazy.

I can, however, provide some entertainment for all of you. Well, if by "provide" you mean to add a link to something entertaining. One of my favorite writers, Dave Eggers, has an odd but funny little piece in the New York Times today. It's a sort of play presented as a graphic. So click over here and take a few minutes to read. I suggest paying special attention to the cat, Robert Smith. He's probably the wisest character in the play.

By the way, did anyone see Rick Astley in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this morning? Blew my mind! It also reminded me of this YouTube video that you've all probably seen, but just in case:

Thank you Father Christmas. You got me just what I wanted most - the gift of not being digested by a bear.

Elvis Costello has been doing a ton of press lately to promote his new show on Sundance all to varying degrees of success. The best moment of all this television exposure, by far, came tonight when he was on "A Colbert Christmas" and got attacked by a bear. It was surreal and hilarious and made up for that terrible interview on "The Today Show." Merry Christmas, Elvis!

Victory!

I was watching CNN this morning and saw a commercial for the Obama commemorative "victory plate." The ad was just so cheesetastic that I couldn't believe it. Look how happy those kids are to have their very own plate!

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Note: Edited at 5 pm to add the original, more awesome version of the ad.

If I had a million dollars...

Or even just an extra $1500 lying around, I would love to have spent it on dinner at Per Se last night. As The New York Times tells us, chefs Thomas Keller and Grant Achatz presented a 20 course tasting menu at Keller's New York restaurant for $1500. (Wine included!) It was part of a book release celebration, but mostly it was a chance for two great chefs to show off their skills. Want to see what you missed? Here's the menu:

I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush

My college roommate used to tell me a story about her best friend who never had a regular hot dog until she was 13 years old. Her mom had always given her turkey dogs and one day she was at my roommate's house and had a beef hot dog. She suddenly realized what an inferior dog she had been eating her whole life. It rocked her world.

The same sort of thing happened to me last weekend in New York. Sure, Jeff ran the marathon and we got to hang out with a bunch of friends, but what really rocked my world was discovering orange beer.

Our lovely Midwest-bred hosts, Josh and Kelly, introduced me to this magical exilir. Fill a glass about one third full with orange juice and top it off the rest of the way with (preferably cheap) beer. Something like Miller Lite or Budweiser works well - Heineken not so much. I tried it yesterday with some Grain Belt beer I had hanging out in the fridge and that was great, too. I'm a big fan of Blue Moon and orange beer is a pretty good substitute and a great way to use up any cheap beer you have around.

So call it a poor man's mimosa or just an excuse to drink before noon and not feel like an alcoholic. Either way I suggest you give it a try. It might be just the kick of vitamin c you need to keep that cold away this winter.