I can't be too cool in a tree with my pants down

Man! I was gonna go to bed early tonight and perhaps read the Salman Rushdie book I need to finish for the book club. See, people, this is my usual life.

But then Ass Man went and became an internet sensation.

In deference to Melissa's modesty (and the fact that my parents read this blog) I'll send the more incriminating photos to Melissa for her to do with them what she likes. First, let's start with some more pleasant images.

The weather was lovely out in California. I sometimes forget how beautiful it is out there. The light is gorgeous and it makes every photo look better. Even cheesy ones of me at the Highway 20 overlook.

I have to mention that on the way back into town, I came across a car accident. A truck was all rolled over and stuff was everywhere. I don't think anyone was hurt, but I was secretly thrilled to have finally beaten John Hart to an accident scene.

Brett's party was great, too. It felt very California, very Sideways without the whole drinking of the spit bucket. Paige (now Joshuetta) was wearing her butterfly dress. I heard all about it, we're best buddies! Here's a blurry photo of her showing me how she brings it around town just like SpongeBob.

She's four and a half now, Josh. If there's one thing I learned on this trip is that time flies, especially when it comes to kids growing up. Here's Joshuetta and Sharla.

And now that I've filled your day with hearts and butterflies, we'll get to Ass Man. See, earlier in the evening Melissa and I went to dinner with Janet and George. It was awesome and George paid so that made it even better. Sometime over dinner, though, we decided that I was famous in Nevada City. So when a crazy old guy came up to us at Cooper's (Nevada County's official headquarters of Crazy Old Guys) we told him I was famous.

Well, there was talk of autographs and, as luck would have it, I had a Shaprie in my bag.

See?That's my autograph right above the fakey fake dog tag and to the left of the gross eagle tattoo.

But Ass Man was really into Melissa. As we demurely sipped our Manhattans, he convinced her that she, too, could be famous if she'd only sign his favorite part of his body.

There it is. The creation of Ass Man. I knew that one day, all those years of photojournalism study would pay off. To see the final product, you'll have to bug Melissa. She's in possession of the final photo. Let me just say Grateful Dead tattoos are involved.


Considering the theme of tonight's post, it seems like a great time to tackle the last of the "D" albums, Dude Ranch by Blink 182.

There's not much Blink 182 than songs about asses and they're everywhere on this album. It was released in 1997 and their single "Dammit" gave them they're first hint of popularity. In fact my first memory on the band is hearing that song on the radio while coming back from shooting and Oktoberfest assignment on Hermann, Missouri when I was in college.

Sharla, however, will note that this is the last album the band made before drummer Travis Barker joined the band. I will note that the rhythm section sounds much muddier on Dude Ranch than any of their later releases. It could be production quality, but I also think Travis is a crisper drummer. So there!

Overall, it's a classic Blink album with songs about peeping toms and getting caught drinking by your parents. Still, I like their later stuff (with songs about drinking with your friends, and watching girls at parties) better. It's more sophisticated. Seriously, it really is.

1 comment:

Josh said...

"Bring it around town!"

God, that is the best. That is one smart kid; I'm honored to share a name with her. Is she seeing anyone?

Melissa's credibility as anything but an ass-loving vixen is completely shot. I never told you guys, because she threatened to kill my mom and dad if I said anything, but she used to make me take my pants off so she could Sharpie all over my butt, too. She needs help.