I can't feel a thing

I went to the dentist this morning. Since I'm a bad flosser, this was no ordinary cleaning trip. I needed some fillings.

I got to the office and the sat me in the reclining chair and I began my death grip on the armrests. Ever since I had a botched root canal a couple years ago I've become a nervous patient. It doesn't help that it usually takes more novocaine and more time to get my mouth numb than the dentist is used to. Dentists are always trying to get started with that drill while I can still feel stuff.

After several shots and a lot of drilling I was finally done. I usually just like to go home, take a nap and try to forget about the horrors of the dentist but Tippy wanted to go out. It was the first cool day in ages so I figured I owed him that. As I bent down to put on his collar he let out an annoyed whine and I figured he was just upset about having to get his collar put on him. When I was done, though, I looked down and there on his face was a small dollop of drool. I drooled on my cat and I never even felt it!

I wiped off the drool and sent Tippy outside. Really, he didn't seem to mind it that much.


j-ingivitis said...

Wow, dude. Fillings. I know that sucks. You know how many fillings I have?

Eileen said...

Probably none. I noticed when I was in Minnesota that your teeth are white and perfect. Is there something in that Fargo water?

Trevor Record said...

Believe it or not, I have never had a cavity!

j boy said...

I believe that, Trevor. Canadians have great teeth. You guys got that from the French, of course.

You're right, Eileen, I have none. Besides the natural handsomeness and healthiness that comes from being North Dakotan, I also have this sealant stuff on my teeth that my mom had them give me and my brother. It's one of my super powers, like Wolverine's adamantium-augmented skeleton.

t said...

While growing up, my dentist was an old mad scientist
who didn't believe in novacaine.
He'd say
"Eh, if I use that I'll never know when I'm getting close to the nerve!"
In other words,
when you screamed, he smiled.
So I didn't go to a dentist
out of fear for 20 years,
and I just brushed and flossed.
Thanks to that
and good teeth genes,
mine are still very good.
And I have a good dentist now and nothing he does hurts much at all.
He says a good dentist KNOWS when he's getting close to the nerve even while using novacaine. At my new dentist,
I used to have a dental hygenist with a mustache
who was really rough using floss.
They'd bleed and she'd say
"If you flossed correctly every day, your gums would toughen and never bleed."
What she was doing was the oral equivalent of rope burn.
I replied...
and these were my exact words,
"I'll bet I could make YOUR gums bleed with floss.
Would you like me to try?"
The dentist was in the room next door and must've overheard.
I never had her again.
The woman I have now is about 40 and is always very mellow,
like she just smoked a joint.

Eileen said...

Trevor, I never had any cavities whe I was your age either. I blame my years in California and their stand against floridating water the recent changes in my teeth.

Josh, I once had sealants, too, but I grind my teeth and have managed to scrape off most of their inherent superpowers.

T, that dentist sounds like my worst nightmare. In Alias they're always pulling out someone's teeth to get them to talk. I wouldn't take much to get me to say anything.