Tippy: A Users Guide

Dear Sarah and Austin,

Thank you for checking in on Tippy while I'm up in Milwaukee for Thanksgiving. I'm sure you'll find the experience enjoyable. If not, at least take advantage of the free laundry facilities because I know that's where the big reward is.

To truly appreciate your Tippy experience you should know a few things about his personality. First, he revels in his foot fetish. If he rubs his face against your foot (which he will) he doesn't really want you to pet him, he just wants to enjoy your feet. It's his special time so try to not disturb him.

Tippy may have been standoffish in the past but in your new role as surrogate feeder he will eventually come up to you and demand to be petted. He will probably stand in you lap (not quite trusting you enough for a full sit) and purr softly until you scratch his head. It's your choice to give in to his demands or not, but he is pretty cute.

I know Austin is hoping to take Tippy outside, play fetch with him and go for walks. I just want to clarify: Tippy is NOT a dog. In fact, he is practically furniture. Activities you can look forward to enjoying with Tippy include petting, lying on the floor, napping and eating.

You can let him outside if you want. Don't latch the door behind him because he will go out and sit on the steps until a car drives by. Then, he will run full speed at the door. It's always been unlatched in the past, so don't fail him now. If it does latch and then you hear a thud, that's probably Tippy.

I've left out some catnip pouches and cat treats. If he's feeling particularly comfortable he might indulge in a bit of the nip. Don't be surprised if he rolls on his back and starts snorting. That's just how he handles catnip.

Tippy has a water bowl but he never uses it. Instead he prefers to drink from the glass of water I keep by my bed. If you could make sure the glass stays full it will keep him from drinking from the toilet (his second choice). There's also a glass in the bathroom that he drinks out of.

Please make sure the propped open doors stay propped open. The doors in my apartment tend to swing closed and trap clawless cats. Things could get messy if he's trapped in the bathroom for four days.

So that's about it. Feel fee to watch anything I've Tivoed, just don't delete it when you're done. There are two very old bottles of beer in the fridge that you're welcome to. If you want food, you'd better like Tomato soup. Then again, it will be Thanksgiving so I can only hope you'll have something more interesting to eat.

If you need anything, give me a call. I'll be back early Monday.


P.S. If Tippy bites your arm, that means he wants to play.


Kelly said...

Tippy drinks out of a glass? What a talented cat!

Stripey Francoise said...

Yes! Let us see a dog drink out of a glass. He would knock it over!

Summer said...

I'm so glad I'm not the only one with cats that prefer a glass!!!

"What, ME, drink from a bowl??? LIKE A DOG???" -- Lucy