We get older every year

Oh, Teenage Fanclub. I really want to like you. I really do. It's just you didn't make a good first impression. A Catholic Education just feels a little pretentious, and not in a sneering, angry way like Oasis. I just get the feeling that you think your emotions are more important than mine.

And then you had to go and throw in, not one, but two plodding instrumental tracks. Seriously?

You're sad. You're British. You're everything I look for in a band. I'm just not sure it's going to work out. You say you want another chance? Well o.k., let me listen to Bandwagonesque and I'll get back to you.

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